Can a husband and wife be godparents? Why spouses can't be godparents

Offer to be godparents- this is a sign that you have been recognized as worthy to educate a new person, who has just been born, in Christian morality. So, your future parents do not doubt your religiosity. But more and more often the number of godparents for one child becomes between parents and the church. How many should a husband and wife have for one child? How many spiritual parents can a person have?

The question is, can there be godparents husband and wife at the same time, torments the minds of Orthodox people and causes debate even in religious forums and in disputes between priests. According to the Orthodox canon, in order for the rite to be considered perfect according to all the rules, one perceiving spiritual parent is enough - for male babies it should be Godfather, and for girls - godmother respectively. The second godfather does not have to be, it is only at the request of the parents.

Orthodox priests are hotly arguing on this topic. Definitely, only the mother and father of the child himself cannot be godparents. From the point of view of the opponents of the fact that the godparents husband and wife were in a real marriage, the spouses after marriage are a single entity, and if both of them are godparents, this is wrong. But this cannot become an obstacle for them in the baptism of different children from the same family. Supporters of what can be godparents appeal to the fact that they made clarifications in the decree of December 31, 1837. They said that according to the Treasury, one godchild is enough, depending on the gender of the godson, that is, there is no reason to consider godparents as people who are in any spiritual relationship and therefore forbid them to marry among themselves.

It is possible to formulate the answer to the question whether a husband and wife can be godparents, as follows. If their marriage is registered only in the registry office, and was not consecrated by the church, then most likely the priest of the Orthodox Church will not object to the fact that the spouses become both godparents at baptism, because according to the laws of the church, their marriage is not sealed in heaven. The same applies to the following cases when it is possible to be spiritual parents - godparents husband and wife can enter into their marriage later and still remain godparents.

Modern parents, of course, want to be close to the godson's family, and choose godchildren from among friends or relatives. The usual number of godparents during the ceremony is two people of different sexes. Rarely does anyone get by with one godfather. The reason for this lies not so much in the spiritual as in the material aspect. Baptism imposes duties on spiritual parents not only religious and educational, but also material - for example, they must congratulate the spiritual child on the holidays, which means giving gifts. And, of course, it is believed that the more successful the godfather or godmother, the better for the child.

In the outback, with the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents, the situation is even simpler. Often in the villages you can even come across the tradition of four or more godfathers. There they choose two or four married couples, and they don’t bother with such questions at all - is it right or not, from the point of view of religion. But if questions of Orthodoxy are important to you, it is better, of course, to consult with a priest, and then choose godparents. And it is best to choose them not according to the wallet, but according to the heart. Really believing people, even without being godparents according to the rite, will always support your child in difficult times and guide him on the true path, and whether they will be husband and wife is not so important. For your child and the godparent's spouse will automatically be the godparent.

When a long-awaited baby is born, the task of parents is to carefully introduce him into the world, protect him from misfortunes, put him on the righteous path. Orthodox parents share this enormous responsibility with heavenly patron and godparents. After the rite of baptism, the life and fate of the child are entrusted to the aspirations of the Lord and the instructions of the godparents.

How to choose godparents

Baptism is church sacrament, at the moment of which the further fate of the human soul is determined. At baptism, the child's godparents are determined. How to choose godparents for your beloved child, to whom to entrust such responsibility, can a husband and wife be godparents?

In fairness, it should be noted that there are some disagreements within the church on this issue. There is an opinion that in our time a married couple can become godparents, and this is being discussed. But these doubts are theoretical, and on Everyday life Churches are practically not reflected. In the interests of the further well-being of godparents and godchildren, it is better to follow the approved order of things when choosing.

The role of godparents in the life of a godson

According to church rules, godparents at the rite of baptism can be adult Orthodox parishioners. After all, the godfather and mother should become spiritual mentors to the child for life. Can, for example, your friends husband and wife be worthy godparents for your child? After all, their role only begins after baptism: they must introduce the godson to the church, introduce him to Christian virtue, and teach the basics of religion. These should be responsible, sincerely believing people, because it is their prayers for the godson throughout his life that are paramount to the Lord. The choice of godparents for a child is a responsible step. The main thing is the ability of these people to answer for the godson before God, to take care of him spiritual development and guide him to the right path. The Church believes that the godfather should take all the sins of the godchild, who has not reached the age of 16, onto himself.

Who should not be chosen as godparents

When choosing godparents, the child's family is puzzled by the problem, can a husband and wife be godparents? For example, a familiar married couple, close to the godson's family in spirit and in the church, is the best suited for the role of mentors. Their family is a model of harmony, their relationship is permeated with love and mutual understanding. But can this husband and wife be godparents?

Can a husband and wife have the same child as godparents? No, according to church laws, this is unacceptable. For the spiritual connection that arises between the recipients at baptism gives rise to a close spiritual union, which is higher than any other, including love and marriage. It is unacceptable that spouses could become godparents, this will jeopardize the continued existence of their marriage.

If the husband and wife are in a civil marriage

The doubt whether a husband and wife in a civil marriage can be godparents, the church unequivocally decides in the negative. According to church rules, neither a husband and wife, nor a couple who are on the eve of marriage can become godparents. While preaching to Orthodox people the need for a church marriage, the church at the same time considers civil marriage, that is, registered in the registry office, legal. Therefore, the doubt whether a husband and wife who have approved their union by registering in the registry office can be godparents is resolved by a negative answer.

Engaged couples cannot become godparents, as they are on the eve of marriage, as well as couples living together outside of marriage, since these unions are considered sinful.

Who can become a godfather

Can a husband and wife be godparents to different children? Yes, this is a completely acceptable option. The husband, for example, will become the godfather of the son of close people, and the wife - the goddaughter. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, older sisters and brothers can also become godparents. The main thing is that it be worthy Orthodox Christian ready to help the child grow into Orthodox faith. Choosing a godfather is a really responsible decision, because it is done for life. The godfather cannot be changed later. If the godfather stumbles on life path, descends from the righteous direction, it is fitting for the godson to take care of him with prayers.

Rules for the rite of baptism

Before the ceremony, future godparents are trained in the church, get acquainted with the basic rules:

Before the sacrament of baptism, they observe a three-day fast, confess and take communion;

Be sure to put on a pectoral Orthodox cross;

Dress appropriately for the ceremony; women wear a skirt below the knees, be sure to cover their heads; do not use lipstick;

Godparents must know and understand the meaning of "Our Father" and "Symbol of Faith", as these prayers are pronounced during the ceremony.

Controversial cases

In exceptional cases, situations arise when parents have no other choice for godparents, except for a single married couple. Doubts whether a husband and wife can be godparents for a child are more than relevant in this case. It must be remembered that, according to church rules, it is quite enough to determine for a child only one godfather, but of the same sex, that is, we choose a godfather for a boy, and a godmother for a girl.

In each case, when parents have individual questions or doubts about whether it is possible for a husband and wife to be godparents, they should be discussed with the priest during preparation for baptism. Rarely, but still, there are cases when the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents, with special permission and in view of exceptional circumstances, is resolved positively by the church.

With the adoption of Christianity in Rus' at the end of the 10th century, along with the new faith and religion, the rites and traditions of Christianity came into the life of our ancestors and ours, respectively. A mass baptism of people was performed - the standard practice of Byzantium in relation to the peoples of the pagans.

Thus, through the baptism of the ruling elite, the Byzantine state secured the pagans in its sphere of influence and tried to reduce the danger of military conflicts in the area of its borders. Now the tradition of baptizing a newborn baby is preserved and observed in almost all Orthodox families, do not do this only, perhaps, real atheists.

This rite is church and carries the meaning of the sacrament of spiritual birth. It can be performed at any age, but most often the rite (sacrament) of baptism takes place at a very early, infancy. They prepare carefully and in advance for christening, the most important thing is to choose the right godfather and mother. Often the choice is given with difficulty, because the candidate must be a trustworthy and decent person with developed spiritual qualities of a person. In addition, not everyone will agree to take on such responsibility. The Church believes that anyone can become a godparent, provided that he becomes a true parent from the holy spirit throughout his life.

There are many nuances in the performance of the sacrament of baptism that you need to find out in advance from the priest in the church and be sure to observe.

In addition to the rules and standard points (godparents must themselves be baptized, know the basic prayers and attend church), there are also prohibitions. One of the most important is that, according to church canons spouses cannot be godparents one child. This is due to the fact that those who are married are already a single entity, and the spiritual relationship established during the performance of the sacrament is higher than any other union, even marriage. In this case, all relationships will have to be terminated except for spiritual kinship. Only some priests look at this moment loyally, in case the marriage is not concluded in the church.

If the situation develops in such a way that the parents have no choice and only one married couple is in mind, then, as an exception, it is quite enough to choose one godparent for the child, but of the same sex. For a boy - a godfather, for a girl - a mother.

There is another side to the question of why spouses cannot be godparents - these are superstitions and signs.

Although the church condemns omens and superstitions, they are firmly present in the lives of many people. So, it is believed that if a husband and wife baptize one child, then either their marriage will break up, or the child may die. A real case from life confirms this sign. When my sister was born, my parents agreed with their friends - another married couple and baptized the baby. Of course, they heard that it was impossible, but the 70s were in the yard, everything was done quietly, where to look for candidates, after all, the communists!

A few years later, my sister became seriously ill - a suspicion of blood cancer. Shock, tests, hospitals. Mom prayed in her own words, as best she could, from the bottom of her heart, she did not know prayers. After another portion of the tests, the doctors reassured that the diagnosis was not confirmed. They returned home from the regional hospital and learned the news: in the family of godfathers (goddaughters), discord, they are filing for divorce.

As a result, the child survived, the godparents divorced. 35 years later, my godfather dies of cancer, a year later my sister (that surviving child) died of cancer. At that time she was 42. Coincidence, you say? Maybe. But maybe you should follow the rules and not take risks. In exceptional cases, the priest himself becomes the godfather, this is also possible.

There are rules and traditions that have been observed for more than one hundred years, they were not created by us, but since we live according to them, in the faith of our ancestors, let's follow them to the end.

Baptism is an important process in Russia. Even those couples who do not believe in God or believe, simply because they have to, baptize their children. From a religious point of view, baptism is the process of cleansing a newborn from original sin. The child is thus united with God. At the same time, parents think about who to make a spiritual mentor for the child. And the question is often raised as to whether a husband and wife can be godparents.

Why can't a husband and wife be godparents?

Our church has a negative attitude towards this situation and forbids a married couple to become foster parents for one child. At the same time, a couple can baptize different children from the same family.

Husband and wife cannot be godparents to the same child.

The Orthodox Church explains this prohibition by the fact that there is already a spiritual connection between husband and wife. During baptism, the bond between husband and wife may be weakened, as the bond that is formed with the child during this process is the strongest.

At the same time, it is possible that the priest will turn a blind eye to this if the couple has not been married or is not yet married. But doing so is undesirable. If you are a believer, then know that at the same time your connection with your husband at the wedding will be weak.

This is also explained by the fact that the husband and wife are already one, so neither of them can form one with the child.

Who can be godfather

Godparents can be:

Relatives of children: grandparents, sisters, brothers and so on.
People whose children you are the sponsor.
Godparents of your first child. If you have already baptized the first child, then at the baptism of the second, you can ask the same people to become godparents for the second.
Priest. If you do not have really close people to whom you could entrust this, then a priest can do it.
There are superstitions according to which it is believed that a pregnant or unmarried woman without children will bring misfortune to the newborn. Do not believe, such girls can become godparents.

Treat the choice of a spiritual mentor for your son or daughter with responsibility, since it will be impossible to change your choice.

Baptism is an important process. Remember also that if the parents are divorced, then the stepfather cannot become a godparent. This is an important choice, so choose people who truly care about your son or daughter. Godparents should be mentors of children and help them develop spiritually. Therefore, take this with responsibility.

Godparents: Who Can Become a Godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? Answers in the article!

Briefly:

The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main duty godfather - to help the child grow up in the Orthodox faith.
The godfather must be church man , ready to regularly take the godson to the temple and monitor his Christian upbringing.
After the baptism is done, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed a lot for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents for both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
Godparents cannot be the father and mother of the child, as well as a husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Many of us were baptized as infants and no longer remember what happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or maybe even happier - our own child is born. Then we think again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents for someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.

Replies Prot. Maxim Kozlov to questions about the duties of godparents from the site “Tatiana's Day“.

- I was invited to become a godfather. What will I have to do?

– Being a godfather is both an honor and a responsibility.

The godmother and father, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Of course, a godfather should become a person who also has some experience in church life and will help parents raise a baby in faith, piety and purity.

During the performance of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.

The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes is not only to be present at Baptism, but also later to help those received from the font grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit one's Christianity only to the fact of Baptism. According to the teachings of the Church, for how we have taken care of the fulfillment of these duties, we will be asked the same on the day of the last judgment, as well as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very big.

- And what to give to the godson?

- Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, no matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross should be of the traditional form adopted in Orthodox Church.

In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - this is a silver spoon, which was called a "gift for a tooth", it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he started eating from a spoon.

How do I choose godparents for my child?

– Firstly, the godparents must be baptized, churched Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of a godfather or godmother should be whether this person can subsequently help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not only in practical circumstances. And, of course, the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship should be an important criterion. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child's church educators or not.

Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

- If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to perform the ceremony without him, but write him down as a godparent?

- Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godfathers, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand ducal mercy, agreed to be considered godparents of one or another baby. If it's a similar situation, do it, and if not, it's probably best to go with common practice.

- Who can't be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on, cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends of the child's parents and no matter how pleasant people they are in communication.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are sure of the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian confession: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become sponsors.

- And which of the relatives can be a godfather?

– An aunt or an uncle, a grandmother or a grandfather can become the godparents of their little relatives. It should only be remembered that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it is worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child, help us raise him. In this case, do we not deprive the little person of love and care, because he could have one or two adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important at a time when the child is looking for authority outside the family. The godfather at this time, in no way opposing himself to his parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his relatives.

Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or to baptize a child for the purpose of a normal upbringing in the faith?

- In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either the godparents, or his relatives, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, all the more falling into one or another non-Christian religion, godlessness, a blatantly impious way of life - in fact, they say that a person has not coped with his duty as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered terminated by the godmother or godmother, and you can ask another churched pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to bear the care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.

- I was invited to be godmother with a girl, but everyone tells me that the first one must be baptized the boy. Is it so?

- The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian should not be guided by in any way.

- They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?

– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who takes a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will leave some kind of imprint on her fate.

On the other hand, in this opinion one can also see a certain kind of sobriety, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) are chosen as godparents for the baby, who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, who have something to share with the baby's physical parents. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, will you have time to take care of him, to give advice to the parents of the baby, in order to sometimes pray warmly for him, bring him to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, and in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting off once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

“Recently, I got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even argued with her. She argued that godparents, like biological father and mother, are obliged to educate their godson. But I do not agree: a mother is a mother, to whom she will allow to interfere in the upbringing of a child. I also once had a godson in my youth, but our paths diverged a long time ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? Something is unbelievable…”

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths turned in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. Even their names could not be retained by memory, they baptized me long ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they don’t remember themselves, they shrug their shoulders, they say that people lived in the neighborhood at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.

And where are they now, what to call them, to magnify, do you remember?

To be honest, for me this circumstance has never been a flaw, I grew up and grew up, without godparents. No, she was cunning, it was once, envied. A school friend was getting married and received a gold chain as thin as a gossamer as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it, she boasted to us, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I envied it. If I had a godmother, maybe I would ...
Now, of course, having lived and thought, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who don’t even keep in mind that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler in the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. To hold us responsible for the godchildren and goddaughters scattered from their parental nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, he is passed from hand to hand, they go outside with him, they distract him so that he does not cry. Waiting for christening. They look at the clock, nervous.

Godmother and father can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially concentrated and important. They rush to get a wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle bags of christening clothes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, goggles his eyes at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him”, among which the face of the godfather is one of many. But the father invites - it's time. They fussed, got excited, the godparents are trying their best to maintain importance - it doesn’t work, because for them, like for their godson, today’s exit is God's temple- a significant event.
- When last time Have you been to church? - the priest will ask. They shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, it’s still easy to determine from awkwardness and tension that godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the vaults of the church. Father will ask questions:

- Do you carry a cross?

Do you read prayers?

- Do you read the Gospel?

Do you honor church holidays?

And the godparents will begin to mutter something indistinct, to lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly conscience, remind of the duty of godfathers and mothers, in general, of Christian duty. Hastily and willingly, the godparents will nod their heads, humbly accept the denunciation of sin, and whether from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into their hearts the main priest's thought: we are all responsible for our godchildren, now and forever. And whoever remembers is likely to misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to invest in the well-being of the godson a feasible contribution.

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp solid banknote - for a tooth. Then for birthdays, as the child grows - a chic set of children's dowry, an expensive toy, a fashionable satchel, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to the gold, to the envy of the poor, chains for the wedding.

We know very little. And it’s not a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the church as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us with, how it is more worthy to prepare for it.
Godfather - in Slavic godfather. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest passes the baby from his hands into the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By perception, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission to lead the godson along the path of ascent to the Heavenly heritage. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember, in the Gospel of John: "Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God."

In serious words - "guardians of faith and piety" - the Church calls the recipients. But to keep, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who, together with the baptized baby, first got into the temple. Godparents should know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mary”, “May God rise again ...”, they must know the “Symbol of Faith”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, to wear a cross, to be able to be baptized.
One priest said: they came to baptize the child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on a cross, but he can’t, unbaptized. It's just a joke, but it's the real truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But one cannot demand faith and repentance from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called, having faith and repentance, to pass them on, to teach them to their godparents. That is why, instead of babies, they pronounce the words of the "Creed" and the words of renunciation of Satan.

Do you deny Satan and all his works? the priest asks.

“I deny it,” the recipient answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a bright festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, which means spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, all those standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby three times into the font and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, a servant of God, will be handed over to the godparents. And he will be dressed in white clothes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a light robe, put on light, like a robe ...” Accept your child, godparents. From now on, your life will be filled with a special meaning, you have taken on the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you now have to answer to God.

On the first Ecumenical Council the rule was adopted that women become the gossips for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl only needs a godmother, a boy only needs a godfather. But life, as it often happens, has made its own adjustments here. According to the ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. It, of course, will not spoil the porridge with butter. But even here it is necessary to know quite certain rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as the parents of a child cannot be godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... Behind the baptism of the baby. He has a great life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to those who gave birth to his father and mother. Ahead is our work, our constant striving to prepare the godson for the ascent to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the smallest. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked down from the worries that have fallen on them. They are, as they say, nothing. Now is the time to lend them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in the temple, order prayers, constantly, like your own blood children, commemorate in prayers at home. Of course, you don’t have to do it instructively, they say, you are mired in fuss, but I’m all spiritual - I think about the high, I aspire to the high, I feed your child, so that you can do it without me ... In general, the spiritual upbringing of the baby is possible only if the godfather in the house is his own person, desirable, tactful. It is not necessary, of course, to shift all the worries onto yourself. The duties of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this one cannot be justified before the Lord.

This is a really difficult cross. And, perhaps, you need to think carefully before you lay it on yourself. Can I? Will I have enough health, patience, spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering into life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for an honorary post. Who among them can become a truly good helper in education, who will be able to give your child true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but not at all necessary.

If there is trouble in the house, then there are other criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers, unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. As old as the world, such stories are banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the baptismal font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can turn mountains. Doing good is also good. It is not in our power to drive away a fool-man from half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter or to sing “make peace, make peace, make peace” to two frowning halves. But it is in our power to take away to our dacha for a day at the dacha a boy weary of affection, write him down in Sunday school and take the trouble to lead him there, and pray. Prayer feat is at the forefront of godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests are well aware of the severity of the feat of the recipients and do not bless to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are just from there, from childhood loneliness, childish sadness. From a big child's misfortune.

This man's name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children's Rehabilitation Center, or, more simply, in orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, digs through funds for equipping classes, selects cadres from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his wards from the police, collects them in the basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, tells them about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. Pray a lot, a lot. In Optina Hermitage, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveevsky Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He is very tired, this man, sometimes he almost collapses from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, realizing this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in business say about him. Godfather from God - is it possible to say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, scattered throughout the cities and villages, his ministry to children is an example of a real Christian ministry. I think that many of us cannot reach its heights, but if we do life with someone, then just with those who understand their title of “grandparent” as a serious, and not an accidental matter in life.
One can, of course, say: I am a weak, busy person, not so hot a church person, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It's more honest and easier, right? Easier - yes. But more honest...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly come to stop, look around, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I owe nothing to my own child. We are indebted to everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them away. Children have grown up and do without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents got old. But conscience - the voice of God - itches and itches.

Conscience requires a splash, and not in words, but in deeds. Can it not be such a thing to carry the duties of the Cross?
It is a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of the daughter of my childhood friend was a great and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. Sat down, poured wine, waiting for a toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the parents of the bride skip ahead with the speeches of the groom's parents, they are vice versa. And then he stood tall and handsome man. He got up in a very businesslike manner. He raised his glass:

“I mean, as the godfather of the bride…”

Everyone quieted down. Everyone listened to the words about young people living long, together, having many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulia, and from under the luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.

Thank you godfather, I thought. Thank you for carrying the love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding. Thank you for reminding us all of something we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How many - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.