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Is it possible for spouses to be godparents? Can husband and wife be godparents? Let's figure it out together

Christening is the second birth of a baby, but before God. Parents carefully prepare for this important event, scrupulously approaching the choice of godfather and mother. Often the right choice is made with great difficulty, because not everyone agrees to take on such responsibility. The Church says that anyone can baptize a child, but he must truly become a parent of the Holy Spirit throughout his life. Who should be chosen for such a responsible title, and can a woman and a man who are husband and wife become godparents?

Godparents husband and wife: the opinion of the Moscow Patriarch on the reasons for the ban

The main requirement of the Orthodox Church for those who baptize a child is that they must steadfastly believe, live a church life, and know at least the most basic prayers (“Gospel”, “Our Father”, for example). This is urgently necessary so that in the future they can fully fulfill the role of teachers for their godson. Church parents should provide basic knowledge about Orthodox faith, spiritual principles of human existence. If the recipients are people ignorant in such matters, then great doubts arise in their initial desire to become godparents.

The Church strictly monitors the fulfillment of every condition relating to the sacrament of baptism, and has a negative attitude towards cases when people deliberately do not comply with certain rules. There is an acute question about the possibility of becoming godparents of a man and woman who are married. The Orthodox religion has its own view on this matter, which is worth dwelling on in more detail.

According to Orthodox canons, a husband and wife cannot become spiritual parents of one child. It is believed that they are already one when they are married. And if both baptize the baby, this is wrong. This position is explained by the fact that during the sacrament of baptism, the recipients must gain integrity in relation to the child, and if they are already spiritually united, then the rite will not be recognized as valid.

Some priests are loyal to this issue and reason like this: if the marriage was not concluded in the church, this gives the husband and wife the right to baptize one child, since their relationship was not sealed in heaven. To make sure whether a husband and wife can be godparents, seek the strong opinion of the highest religious officials and listen to what the Moscow Patriarchate thinks about this. Watch the video below which discusses the topic in detail.

What does the Catholic Church say?

A newborn baby must appear before God immediately after birth, be cleansed of original sin, and unite with the church. This is how any religion argues and calls for baptisms to be carried out at an early age. The process of carrying out the ritual is the same almost everywhere: the baby is washed with water from the font in the temple, the liturgy is read, and at the end a cross is put on. The only difference is the requirements that allow or prohibit believers from taking certain steps. The Catholic Church differs from the Orthodox Church on many issues, and the rite of the sacrament of baptism was no exception.

It all starts with the parents coming to the church a couple of weeks in advance to discuss with the priest (priest catholic church) all questions regarding preparation for the ceremony, set a date, agree with the one who will baptize the child. Godparents in the Catholic faith are endowed with important powers in the child’s life, which include the responsibility to take him to Sunday school, prepare for religious rites(community, confirmation). The approach to choosing godparents is doubly complex here and is an important task for any believer.

In addition to the awareness and high responsibility of godparents, the Catholic faith has its own rules for choosing a spiritual father and mother. According to the requirements of the church, only people who:

They believe and practice Catholicism.
They do not have any family ties with the baby.
Have reached your 16th birthday. If the reasons are compelling, the abbot may make an exception.
Catholics by religion who have undergone the sacrament of First Communion and confirmation (confirmation). This is a ritual of anointing, which is performed in adulthood. This is how Catholics confirm that they accepted the faith consciously.
They are not the child's parents.
They are husband and wife.

Married couple – godparents of one child: superstitions and traditions

According to the traditions of the Orthodox Church, a man and woman who baptize a baby enter into a spiritual relationship. It is valued so highly that no other union is more important than this (including marriage). There are several traditions in the Orthodox faith that call into question the possibility of baptizing other people's children for a married couple. Here are the main points when spouses are prohibited from being heirs:

A couple of people are prohibited from participating in the sacrament of infant baptism if they are spouses. If this happens, then their marriage will not be able to exist on a spiritual level: it will not have a sacred bond.
Similar to established spouses, a couple who intends to enter into a marriage does not have the right to baptize. Since at the time of baptism they will acquire a spiritual unity (kinship) that is exalted above the physical, they will have to abandon their relationship in favor of acquiring the status of godparents.
A couple who lives in a civil marriage also does not have the right to become godparents to a child, because initially such ties are condemned by the church and are considered fornication.

Despite these prohibitions, there are options when a husband and wife have the right to baptize children of the same family if they meet other requirements of the Orthodox Church. They must do this separately: the man baptizes one child, and the woman baptizes the other. That is, spouses can baptize their siblings (or blood brothers, sisters). If they do this separately, they will not lose the sanctity of their marital union.

If baptism with adopted spouses still occurs due to ignorance, then such a situation can only be resolved by the highest authority of the church (the ruling bishop). The spouses appeal to the ruling bishop to get out of this situation. The outcome may be in the following ways: the marriage will be declared invalid or the spouses will be called to repentance for a sin committed out of ignorance.

Who else should not be made godparents?

If you decide to baptize your child, then you must know all the requirements and customs of the church, which prohibit taking children as successors (except for husband and wife):

the baby's blood parents;
one who has not been baptized or does not believe in any religion (atheist);
a person who denies any truth of the Orthodox religion;
if the one who baptizes treats the sacrament of baptism as magical rite, and pursues its goals (in the pagan sense);
people who do not want to become godparents for this child;
adoptive father or adoptive mother;
people who are members of other faiths;
children under 14 years of age;
monks and representatives of the church rank;
people whose views are not subject to morality;
persons with mental disabilities;
women who experience cleansing days with their periods.

Who can be taken as a receiver?

When parents think about choosing a foster child for their child, they should be guided not only by their own considerations. Everything must be followed religious rules, according to which, the godfather or mother can become:

His relatives are grandparents, aunts or uncles. Perhaps this will be an older sister or brother who has reached the age of fourteen.
Godmothers (those whose child you yourself are the child’s successor).
Godmother of the first child. It happens that a person has already baptized a baby in one family, but they had a second one, and the same godparents who baptized the firstborn were taken as godparents.
If there are no recipients, then the priest who performs the ritual can become one.
Pregnant woman.
An unmarried girl who has no children.

Dear parents, you need to understand that you need to choose a person as a godparent who will not just take part in a church ceremony, but will truly love the baby and be able to become a spiritual mentor for him for life. Answering the question of who is allowed to take as a successor, the church implies a believer, responsible, conscious and loving person, so that the ritual acquires the correct meaning and ultimate purpose.

Baptism is the most significant event in the life of every Orthodox person. And of course, you need to take a responsible approach to choosing godparents. After all, they are second parents and play an important role in a person’s life. There are many superstitions about godparents. And many people wonder: who can be a godfather and who cannot. Let's try to answer the most frequently asked questions on this topic.

Can children be godparents?

By church rules, children from the age of seven already bear full responsibility for their actions. They are no longer allowed to take communion without confession. Therefore, if a child is sufficiently churched, he can become a godfather. But, choosing in godparents of the child, think carefully. The godmother or father must raise their godson in the Orthodox faith, and the child himself is still just learning the basics of Orthodoxy. Still, it is better to choose an adult, accomplished person as godparents. After all, if something happens to the child’s blood parents, the minor will not be able to take responsibility for the godson. If you nevertheless decide to take a minor as godparents, it is better that this is a child who has reached the age of 15.

Can there be one godfather?

There are situations when a christening has already been scheduled, an agreement has been made with the priest and guests have been invited, but one of the godparents cannot attend the baptism. Or you couldn’t find a second receiver at all. What to do in such a situation? The Church allows baptism with one godparent. The second one can be recorded in absentia on the baptismal certificate. But there is one important point here. When a girl is baptized, a godmother must be present, and for a male infant, a godfather must be present. During the sacrament, the godfather (of the same sex as the child) will pronounce on behalf of the baby a vow of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ, as well as the Creed.

Can a sister be a godmother?

If the sister is a believer, an Orthodox person, she can become a godmother. But it is desirable that the godmother is already quite an adult, because she will have to bear responsibility not only for herself, but also for her godson. Many who have adult sisters take them as godparents. After all, no one will take care of a godson like a loved one.

Can an ex-husband be a godfather?

It's more of a moral issue. If you and your ex-husband still have wonderful friendly relations, and he is not the natural father of your child, he can become the godfather. But if your ex-husband the natural father of the child, then he cannot be the adopter, since natural parents cannot be the adopter of their child. Well, again, the godfather becomes practically a relative, so discuss with your current husband whether he will be against your such a close relationship with ex-husband.

Can the godfather's wife be a godmother?

The godfather's wife cannot be a foster child if we are talking about the same baby, since the church prohibits spouses from being foster children of the same child. During the sacrament, they acquire a spiritual connection, which means that there cannot be an intimate relationship between them.

Can a brother be a godfather?

A sibling or cousin can become a godfather. The Church does not prohibit close relatives from being godparents. The only exceptions are the child's parents. Grandmothers, brothers, aunts and uncles can be godparents. The main thing is that these people are Orthodox, baptized, and take a responsible approach to fulfilling the duties of godparents. That is, to teach a child the basics of Orthodoxy and raise him to be a believer, an honest and decent person.

Can husband and wife be godparents?

During the baptismal ceremony, a woman and a man become spiritual relatives, which means they cannot be married. Because marriage implies physical intimacy, which cannot exist between spiritual parents.

If the godmother and godfather are spouses, they are prohibited from participating in the sacrament of baptism of one child. Moreover, a man and woman cannot baptize the same child if they are just planning to get married. If they do become godparents of one baby, they will have to give up close relationships in favor of raising a godson.

A husband and wife can baptize children from the same family. A man can become the godfather of one child, and the wife can become the godmother of another baby.

If a husband and wife unknowingly become the adoptive parents of the same child, the spouses need to contact the ruling bishop. As a rule, there are two ways out of this situation: recognition of the marriage as invalid, or the spouses will be given penance for a sin committed out of ignorance.

Who definitely cannot be a receiver?

Before choosing godparents for your baby, you need to know whom the church clearly prohibits from taking as godparents:

- the child’s blood parents;

- spouses;

- not baptized and atheists;

- people of other religions;

- monks;

- mentally retarded people;

- sectarians.

Choosing godparents is a very important point. And here you need to be guided primarily by the interests of the child, and not by your own. Often, best friends or “necessary” people are chosen as godparents, without really delving into how much the person belongs to the church.

If you want your child to be raised in the Orthodox faith, choose only believers who know prayers and regularly attend church services. If people do not visit the temple and believe, as they say from time to time, then great doubt arises about their serious attitude to the sacrament and their duties.

It often happens that people's paths diverge, and the godfather cannot take part in raising the godson. But he is still responsible for this child, so the recipient must pray for his godson or goddaughter all his life.

An offer to be godparents is a sign that you have been recognized as worthy of raising a new person who has just been born in Christian morality. This means that future parents have no doubt about your religiosity. But increasingly, the number of godparents for one child becomes between parents and the church. How many should a husband and wife have for one child? How many spiritual parents can a person have?

The question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents at the same time torments minds Orthodox people and causes debate even in religious forums and in disputes between priests. According to the Orthodox canon, in order for the ritual to be considered perfect according to all the rules, one perceiving spiritual parent is enough - for male infants this should be the godfather, and for girls - godmother respectively. There does not have to be a second godfather, this is only at the request of the parents.

Orthodox priests argue heatedly on this topic. Definitely, only the mother and father of the child cannot be godparents. From the point of view of opponents of the godparents of the husband and wife being in a real marriage, the spouses after marriage are a single whole, and if both of them are godparents, this is wrong. But this cannot become an obstacle for them in baptizing different children from the same family. Supporters of what can be godparents appeal to the fact that he introduced clarifications in the decree of December 31, 1837. They stated that according to the Trebnik, one godparent is enough, depending on the gender of the godson, that is, there is no reason to consider godparents as people who are in some kind of spiritual relationship and therefore prohibit them from marrying each other.

The answer to the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents can be formulated as follows. If their marriage was registered only in the registry office, and was not consecrated by the church, then, most likely, the priest of the Orthodox Church will not object to the spouses both becoming recipients at baptism, because according to the laws of the church, their marriage is not sealed in heaven. The same applies to the following cases when it is possible to be spiritual parents - the godparents of the husband and wife can enter into their marriage after and will still remain godparents.

Modern parents, of course, want to be close to their godson’s family, and choose their godchildren from among friends or relatives. The usual number of godparents during the ceremony is two people of different sexes. Rarely does anyone get by with just one godfather. The reason for this lies not so much in the spiritual as in the material aspect. Christenings impose on spiritual parents not only religious and educational responsibilities, but also material ones - for example, they must congratulate the spiritual child on holidays, and therefore give gifts. And, of course, it is believed that the more successful the godfather or godmother, the better for the child.

In the outback, with the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents, the situation is even simpler. Often in villages you can even encounter the tradition of four or more godfathers. There they choose two or four married couples, and they don’t bother at all with such questions - whether this is right or wrong, from the point of view of religion. But if issues of Orthodoxy are important to you, it is better, of course, to consult with a priest and then choose godparents. And it’s best to choose them not according to your wallet, but according to your heart. Truly believing people, even without being godparents according to the ritual, will always support your child in difficult times and guide him on the right path, but whether they will be husband and wife is not so important. For your child, both the godparent's spouse will automatically be the godparent.

Who can become a baby's godfather? Can a husband and wife be godparents to a child? Is it possible to adopt close relatives as adoptive parents—sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, grandparents? Is it true that a pregnant or unmarried woman cannot have her children baptized? In our article you will find answers to these questions.

An adult does not need receivers

If a person is baptized at a conscious age, then no questions arise with the choice of recipients. An adult is responsible for his own decisions. He probably consciously came to faith and wanted to join the Church. Most often, a person wishing to be baptized before receiving the Sacrament undergoes a course public conversations, in which he is told about the basics of the Orthodox faith.

He himself knows the main dogmas of the Church - the Creed - and can declare his renunciation of Satan and his desire to join Christ.

Who can become godfather to a baby?

Baptism in infancy occurs according to the faith of the parents and the child's adoptive parents.

Godfather - baptized, believer, churched

The godfather or mother can be a believer, baptized in Orthodoxy, a churchgoer.

It is not needed to hold a child in church. The godfather vouches before God for the spiritual education of this person; on behalf of the baby, the godfather declares his devotion to Christ and renunciation of Satan. Agree, this is a very serious statement. And it presupposes the fulfillment of assigned duties: communion of a baby, spiritual conversations in a relaxed manner, one’s own example of a life of virtue.

Even a baptized but unchurched person is unlikely to be able to cope with such functions.

Who can't become a godfather?

An atheist, a non-believer, or someone excommunicated from the Church cannot be a godfather: if he is outside the Church, then how can he help others enter it? How can one teach faith to another if one does not believe in God?

Can a pregnant woman baptize her child?

There is a superstition that an unmarried or pregnant woman cannot be a successor. There are no such restrictions in the Church. You never know what the grandmother in the temple can tell you?! Sometimes you even have to listen to unmarried girl You must first become the boy's godmother. If she does this, her guys will love her. Well, if you baptize a girl first, then what? How long to sit in girls? This is another ridiculous superstition.

In fact, in the Trebnik - the liturgical book according to which priests serve services - it is indicated that only one godfather is needed for the person being baptized, while for a girl it is a woman, and for a boy it is a man. It was only later that the tradition of taking a pair of receivers appeared. If you take only one godfather, then there is nothing prohibited about it. Unfortunately, the women in the church do not always know the history of the Church well and often fall into the trap of superstitions.

In our time, monks and nuns also cannot become godparents. Previously, there was no such ban either. But what is the reason for this practice? This is done so as not to distract the monk from monastic life, not to tempt him with worldly things (family, children, family celebrations and celebrations).

Also, natural parents do not become godparents to their child. They already have a huge responsibility for the diverse upbringing of their son or daughter.

Other relatives can easily become adopters, be it grandparents, aunts and uncles, or even older brothers and sisters.

Can a husband and wife be godparents to a child?

Nowadays, there is no clear opinion as to whether a husband and wife can baptize the same baby.

Supporters of the “no” option believe that godparents are spiritually close people, and husband and wife are also physically close. You can find more than one story about how a priest forbade spouses to be children's foster children. But do such prohibitions exist at the canonical level?

But what if a guy and a girl first christened one baby, and then fell in love with each other and wanted to get married? Suffer and blame everything on the godson’s natural parents for such a “set-up”?

Instead of suffering, it’s better to turn to Sergei Grigorovsky’s book “Obstacles to Wedding and Reception at Baptism,” published with the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexia II. It focuses on marriage between godparents:

At present, Article 211 of the Nomocanon [which states the inadmissibility of marriage between recipients] has no practical significance and should be considered abolished... Since during baptism it is enough to have one recipient or one recipient, depending on the gender of the person being baptized, there is no reason to consider the recipients to be in any spiritual relationship and therefore prohibit them from marrying each other.

You can also find older sources that answer positively the question “Can a husband and wife be godparents to a child?”

The receiver and the successor (godfather and godfather) are not related to themselves; Since at Holy Baptism there is one person, necessary and valid: male for those baptized of the male sex, and female for those baptized of the female sex.

In the decree of December 31, 1837, the Holy Synod again appeals to the ancient decrees about one foster child for an infant:

As for the second recipient, he does not create a spiritual relationship either with the baptized person or with the first recipient, therefore, from a theological point of view, marriage between the recipients (godparents) of one baptized baby is considered possible.

For those who still continued to doubt whether a husband and wife could be godparents to a child, another synodal decree appeared, dated April 19, 1873:

Receiver and recipient ( godfathers and the mother of the same baby) can marry only with the permission of the diocesan bishop.

It must be said that a ban on marriage between godparents previously existed in the Russian Church, but in others Orthodox churches this practice was unknown.

The only prohibition that has come down to us since the time Ecumenical Councils, - This Rule 53 of the Sixth (Constantinople) Council . It speaks of the impossibility of marriages between a child’s godfather/godmother and his widowed mother/widowed father.

A marriage between a godson and his godson is also considered impossible. But this question cannot even arise if the baby has one godfather of the same gender.

We invite you to see how Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov answers the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents to a child:

Take it for yourself and tell your friends!

There is another side to the question of why spouses cannot be godparents - these are superstitions and signs.

Although the church condemns signs and superstitions, they are firmly present in the lives of many people. So, it is believed that if a husband and wife baptize one child, then either their marriage will break up or the child may die. A real life incident confirms this sign. When my sister was born, my parents agreed with their friends - another married couple - and baptized the baby. Of course, they heard that it was impossible, but it was the 70s, everything was done quietly, where to look for candidates, after all, they were communists!

A few years later, my sister became seriously ill - suspected of having blood cancer. Shock, tests, hospitals. Mom prayed in her own words, as best she could, from the bottom of her heart; she didn’t know any prayers. After another round of tests, the doctors reassured me that the diagnosis was not confirmed. We returned home from the regional hospital and found out the news: there was discord in the family of the godfathers (the daughter’s godparents), and they were filing for divorce.

As a result, the child survived, and the godparents divorced. 35 years later, my godfather dies of cancer, and a year later my sister (the surviving child) died of cancer. At that time she was 42. Coincidence you say? Maybe. But maybe you should follow the rules and not take risks. In exceptional cases, the priest himself becomes the godfather; this is also possible.

There are rules and traditions that have been observed for hundreds of years; they were not created by us, but since we live by them, in the faith of our ancestors, let us observe them to the end.